Joke Time!, one of the best jokes iv heard in a while Options

[=BGOAT= water]

A store that sells husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow!' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous , Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are fucking impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.




you got any?

[Jkidd]

A guy breaks up with his girlfriend but she's still very obsessed with him. He wakes up in the morning and walks out the front door to go to work and she's there on his lawn.

She asks him what he's doing and he tells her he's going to work. She asks him "Can I come?" he says "No we broke up you can't." she then proceeds to beg and tells him "But I'll cryyy" so he gives in and lets her come to work with him

He gets home from work and he's going into the kitchen for food and she says "Where are you going?" he tells her to make a sandwich. She then asks "Can I come and have one?" he tells her that they broke up and she can't be there. She proceeds to beg and says "But I'll cryy" and he says fine.

So they make sandwiches and he is about to go hop in the shower. She says "Where are you going?" he explains he's guna go shower. She then asks "Can I Come?" and he says again that they had broken up and she cant, but again she begs and says "But I'll cryy" so he gives in and lets her in the shower with him under one condition. He tells her "You cannot look down"

They get in the shower and the first thing she does is look down and she says "Whats that?!?!" He tells her "That's Bobo"

So they get out of the shower and he is tired so he's about to hop into bed and she asks "Where are you going?" he tells her to bed. She then proceeds to ask "Can I come?" again he tells her she can't because they aren't together but like always she begs and says "But I'll cryy" and so he says fine..

He wakes up the next morning and there's blood all over the sheets and he says "WTF HAPPENED HERE!!!"

The girl looks at him and simply says "Bobo squirted me so I bit him"