TECH: "Nexus computer assistant; May I help you?" AMF: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." TECH: "What sort of trouble?" AMF: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." TECH: "Went away?" AMF: "They disappeared." TECH: "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?" AMF: "Nothing." TECH: "Nothing?" AMF:"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type. TECH: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" AMF: "How do I tell?" TECH: "Can you see the "C" prompt on the screen?" AMF:"What's a sea-prompt?" TECH: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" AMF: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." TECH: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" AMF: "What's a monitor?" AMF: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" AMF: "I don't know." TECH: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" AMF: "...Yes, I think so." TECH: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." AMF: "...Yes, it is." TECH: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" AMF: "No." TECH: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." AMF: "...Okay, here it is." TECH: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." AMF: "I can't reach." TECH: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" AMF: "No." TECH: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" AMF: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark." TECH: "Dark?" AMF: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." TECH: "Well, turn on the office light then." AMF:"I can't." TECH: "No? Why not?" AMF: "Because there's a power outage." TECH: "A power... a power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" AMF: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." TECH: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." AMF: "Really? Is it that bad?" TECH: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." AMF: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" TECH: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
------Signature-------
Keeping talking smack . . . No matter what you say . . . bGoat still is the best.
|